you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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