I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
