I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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