After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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