Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
