question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
