Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
