i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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