I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
