Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
