why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
