I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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