I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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