...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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