You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
