tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
as a side note pls kill me
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
