I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
