I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We need to get me chipped asap
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
