I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
