I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize