I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
