thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
