so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
