He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He? As in you personified your dick?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
