I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize