Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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