You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
