I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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