so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
