i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
