Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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