none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Randomize