Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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