does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
