Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
