HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My pussy is not your playground.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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