In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
