I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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