So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
