I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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