someone get that fucking seahorse.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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