your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
