We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
