I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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