just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
