I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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