Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
