Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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