seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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