oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
