Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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