C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
