I just made out with a guy for $7.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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