everyone is single if you try hard enough
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
