we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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