Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
