We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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