wat bout pragnant strippers??
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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