She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
