Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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