I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
