I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
