Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
