i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
