I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
