I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
