Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We have started to decorate penises.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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